Social Butterfly

The lights turn down low...it starts to flicker..the dj spins the music, drops the bass..the crowd gets revved up...then the MC jumps in and pumps up the party... "Party people, where you at?!!!!" "throw your hands up in the air!!!" ahhh...the power of suggestion..and yes, the crowd goes wild... Drinks start pourin' and give it another 10 minutes or so...they start floodin' and the people get crazier than crazy.

I must say, honestly, this has been the scene of my life for the past year or so...I got bored from my job as an English instructor, I can't take the pressure, not of the job demands but of those people around my workplace...frankly, they're just hell!!!So, what to do when the situation doesn't feel right? Get out of it and I did! After which, I found nothing else to do...so I decided to reconnect with my friends...yes, friends will really be there for you when you need them, or when you're just bored and looking for somebody to do crazy stuffs with...They're not even gonna judge you, but instead, they'll be the one to become your perfect "partner in crime" and act like a bunch of lunatics!!!hahaha!yes...I really really love my friends!

Before I deviate much further from the topic, let me say, I am not a rebel nor a wild child...it's just that partying gives me some kind of therapy which no spa can ever offer, no body massage can ever relieve and no aroma therapy can ever soothe.  The feeling of alcohol consuming your system, is that, of which like no other could ever give...Sure, you might walk like a ghetto diva and talk like"yo, imma gangster now!!!" but,the heck, you're having fun and yes, every time I go out to party, it really does feel like I'm having the time of my life.  

The beats that the dj mixes to hype up the crowd is surely very alluring, like a pacemaker which dictates the heartbeat of every party goer.  It sends you to a whirlwind of surreal ecstasy sans the drug of course.  It creates this feeling of a natural high which makes you feel so invincible like nothing could ever go wrong and that nothing can rain on your parade.  It almost feels right to say "the world, is MINE!!!"

I can also add that, over the past months that I've been partying, I've expanded my social network and have met people which made me widen my perspective about personality and individuality.  For some, partying is a temporary escape from reality. For a few, it's a way to let loose and be free.  Yet, for others, it's a way of living and for other's still, it's where they earn for a living.

No matter what your reasons are for partying during the weekdays or the weekends, we all come down to the same goal...to have fun and live life while we still can...For those who thinks that clubbing is just for brats, sluts, jerks and bitches...change your perception and try going out...who knows, you might even like it...

Bear in mind, instead of going on through life asking why, get out of your chair, do something about it and find the answer to your question.

As for me, I'm livin' life the way I want it to be...I may party all night long and be considered a regular party goer, but I have never lost my focus and I am working towards achieving my goals before I hit 25...

Besides, we can't just party all the time, we have to earn money so that we can spend, right? and yes, we can't rely on our parents all the time and make them shoulder expenses which are unnecessary.

Take note: party responsibly!!!
Cheers!

Purely Unconditional

Too often, we come across the definition of LOVE as selfless, humble, chaste, and surpassing.  Come to think of it, how many of us have experienced these meanings? How many of us have exercised this definition of love and how many of us have received this kind of Love?  I guess more than emotions, Love can be a state of mind... It might seem like a wonderful flower, but later on, it might turn out to be a weed.  However, before we get totally devastated and hopeless with the idea of love, let's not forget that love is not only limited between two individuals. It may also transpire between you and your pet.

At one point in our lives, we've had a pet that we'd treasure most and care for very dearly...Most commonly, we have dogs.  The most domesticated animal, and probably the most loving of all.  They have not been labeled man's best friend for nothing.  Come to think of it, a dog will walk you from your doorstep all the way to the house gates and back as if to send you off and wish you well, and when you arrive, they are the first ones that jump giddily and bark loudly as to welcome you once again.  They don't care if they do this everyday, they're happy.  What they know is that we are their master and they are loyal to us.  Let's come clean, at times when we feel down, heartbroken or alone, we can always find comfort with our dogs,  They stay beside us, though they may not speak of any words, there is somehow a sense of comfort that they radiate towards us.  They make us feel that amidst the cruelties and harshness of the outside world, surely, God still has created something good and unselfish.  

Have you ever recalled the time when your dog did something wrong? You were so mad, maybe you laid a hand on him, screamed at him and told him to get lost.  But being as pious as they are, they chose not to use their razor sharp teeth and claws to get back to us, instead, they quietly cower around the corner of the room,  and when we call them...they come rushing back towards us...as if we did them no harm and they did not even ask us to beg them for forgiveness.

You see, this is the beauty of life...it makes us realize that hope is always there.  That despite the scarred disposition of love that envelopes human race, unexpected blessings from little creatures could produce profound goodness that will make us feel that there is still a ray of light that may take us out of our misery and provide us with unrelenting and unblemished love...the one which comes from our very own fluffy, cuddly and adorable dogs...

simply LOVE...

Pure and Unconditional!

you + me = US

Music has always been a part of our life. It's amazing how it can affect our mood, perception and outlook for the day.  Various songs appeal to different kinds of individuals, but there is one certain endpoint.  Music allows one to express their feelings when he/ she is at loss for words.  One can begin to feel a sense of euphoria when a music becomes upbeat and lively.  On the other hand, sadness and loneliness can take over when the music begins to slow down and utter heartbreaks and miseries.

I had the experience, just this morning...I was browsing through the channels finding for a good show to watch when I cam across a rerun of Glee Season 1.  Trust me, I'm no Gleek, but the songs they had for the episode were quite interesting and really appealed to me.  No offense meant to those Glee fanatics of course, and who knows? maybe I could still change my opinion. 

 Anyway, going back...my day didn't really start out the way I wanted it to be, sunshiny and vibrant.  I woke up receiving a text from someone which was rather cold and unusual...Trust me, this was the first time and I felt down and not wanting to get out of my bed anymore.  I opened my laptop, saw the person online, I made the motive to say Hi, again the reply was bland, then without any questions, I just said, I hope nothing's wrong between us because I like things just the way they are.  With that, we were able to sort things out and the mood became lighter, but still, I wasn't that confident with the whole situation. We bid to say goodbye, he had to go...now I'm left glaring at my screen, thinking of what to do for the next 16 hours or so...I decided to shut it down then just watch something on TV just to pass the time and to divert my attention from things that have been bothering me since the other night.

I came across Star World and Glee was on, they were singing Whitney Houston's song, that grabbed my attention...Especially since I'm mending my emotions. I found the song rather relative to what I'm feeling and just decided to settle on the couch and watch the show..I was feeling a bit okay already, having been able to relate to the song which seems to have blended well with my emotions.  

My mood started to lift even further when Rachel started singing out you can't rain on my parade...It made me feel that life will be better only if I choose it to be.  It made me realize that indeed, happiness is a choice..so it's either be happy or be damned with all those worries and suffer those disgusting wrinkles and be enslaved with anti aging creams...forever!!!!nah, not really, just exaggerating... 

Furthermore, my day began to brighten up when the Glee cast sang "my life would suck without you"...


The song's lyrics seemed to pierce right through me.It made me realize that, yes, everybody is capable of making mistakes and though they might be thrown off track once in a while, LOVE always prevails... Things might get a little rocky at times or may not look as clear as it were the other day, but who the heck am I to conclude right away, for I, myself have done some pretty clumsy things too...it may not be out of intent but it can still cause pain to the other...However it may be, I came into knowing that, indeed, my life would suck without this person for he has been the missing piece that completed my puzzle.

this is ME...so please...just let me BE!

We always hear those words "just be yourself" or maybe "live your life the way you want it to be." Try as we may, we can never do away with the fact that, though these lines are formulated to boost our self esteem, it is also one of those that could become our downfall. We all live mutually in this world, though we might not recognize this fact, but yes, we do give a damn about other people's business.  Sometimes, in an effort to reach out, we tend to become intrusive and down right nosy. Well, let's face it, one of the most fascinating scenarios in life is the truth which is, indeed, stranger than fiction.

More often than not, I've always been the subject of these intrigues and speculations wherever...so maybe I can revert and say "ït's not me, it's them!".  I don't see a problem with the way I deal with other people. I can even say with conviction that I don't mind other people's business, unless they interfere with mine.  I may be too overt, too outspoken or too straight forward at times, but in my defense, "a good friend would stab you straight front and not behind your back." I may not mingle well with everybody in a group, but it's because I don't open up instantly with new acquaintances.  It takes time for me to be at ease conversing with new faces, but once I get comfortable, I never put any walls or barriers between us.  They also tell me that I'm a snob, truth is, I'm not.  I'm just not good in remembering people's faces, especially if I've only seen them once or twice.  I can even say that, I've often mistaken one person for another and end up getting embarrassed and maybe because of those unfortunate mishaps,I got traumatized.  Another comment I hear quite a lot is that, considering I'm an only child, I'm spoiled and such a brat.  big NO! I am not. Definitely! I may have those nice little things and maybe a little extra cash, but at a fair limit...I don't overspend or buy things that aren't of use at all.

In relation to first impressions, they tend to say, I'm suplada, intimidating and the like...what the eff??? Clearly, I'm just standing there, what gave you the idea that I am that kind of person?  and yes, how I love to prove them wrong.  I may have days when I'm feeling a bit off but, forgive me, I'm a girl...hormonal imbalances can really get the best of me...which girl doesn't? Some are even worse.  Trust me, I know!  But mostly, I'm just a happy go lucky, carefree, worry free gal....well, I can be a bitch, when necessary, and please let's remove that BITCH stigma, 21st century definition of bitch is an empowered, confident and successful woman, although this may not apply to the general public. If you know what I mean.

I may also be hooked on partying, drinking and smoking, but I don't do drugs..haha!Just felt like I needed to point that out...and no, I won't say that sex is better than drugs.For those who have tried both, just leave a comment.  On this note again, I'd like to stress out that even though I party, I finished college, passed the licensure exam, passed the IELTS exam, currently finishing my Master's degree and I have a job waiting for me a month from now. So excuse me if I drink and smoke a lot, it's just a temporary dissociation from reality which allows me to just let go and release those stressful vibes.

I do hope you think that it is fair enough.  Coz when the lights go down and the curtains fall, I could really say that "my day was good, let night fall."

happiness...yours or mine?

Being happy is a state of mind,most of us would say...It is an unexplainable and overwhelming feeling inside that makes us feel like we're on top of the world...It's the push behind us that makes us go the extra mile...and its the sense of assurance inside us that everything is possible!

Happiness is always being equaled to smile, laughter and good times...this is the kind of feeling that we never want to let go of since it puts us in a temporary state of delusion that for even a moment, we are "happy."  It may not last that long, but the memories are sure enough to last us a lifetime and will never fail to make our lips curve and smile.

This line might also be compared to a worn-out tire that has not been replaced yet, "do what makes you happy".  Well, it might sound easy but sometimes, happiness can be just too complex that it weaves us into a state of bewilderment and confuses us with  the feeling of being happy and the state of being altruistic.

Let's be honest, no one can make it into this world alone.  We always need somebody to rely on... Mr. Bean has his Teddy, Nim has her sea lion, Snow White has her seven dwarfs, even the ever scheming and ice queen Blair Waldorf has Serena van der Woodsen.  As you can see, no matter how weird, isolated, or mean you might be, you still want somebody to be by your side and cheer you up whenever you're in trouble.  And with their simple gestures you become "happy."

On the other hand, there are some situations where you need to compromise your own happiness in order to make other people happy.  It's not like you're being a hypocrite, a double-crosser or whatever, it's just that sometimes, its a way for you to take care of relations and maintain a civil situation with those people.  However, things can get out of hand sometimes, and though these people mean well, they tend to become too demanding without their knowing and can get really suffocating.  Although they think they are bringing you happiness and all that, but you can't help but feel happy no more and you tend to get stuck and have a hard time to find your way out.

Although seeking advice from others have only one major end result "get out of the situation, tell them directly how you feel." And the usual answer would be, "easier said than done".  It really is easier spoken than to be carried out. How can you easily tell someone off when they became an integral part of your life and welcomed you into their household, right?

But then again, I guess, God is always good and prevailing...He always finds a way and shows them just when we are on the verge of giving up.  We are born to experience Life at its finest, not to live on somebody else's shadow.

Now, I know better...

Being trapped in a situation of conscientiousness and happiness, choose what pleases you, not unless you want to be the clown that gets laughed at yet never the one who laughs.

luscious happiness!

Who doesn't like chocolates?

I'm sure everyone does...

What?! with its rich flavor of the finest cocoa and caramel and uber sweet chocolate filling...at times, engulfed with rich hazel nuts and vanilla coating.  One can never truly resist such a sweet temptation.

Chocolates are delectably irresistible and simply delicious.  Sure, they may come in different packages, variations, class and prizes but nevertheless they never fail to deliver what they're intended for...pure satisfaction!They are my instant mood lifters. Just a single bite from this creamy chocolatey goodness sends me to an instant Neverland where everything is is just how I dreamed it would be.. Perfect!

It's not really a puzzle why I crave for chocolates every so often...it's such a sweet and simple treat that would instantly brighten up my day and chase the dark clouds away...

in youth, i take delight!

my! my!How time really flies...

Seems only yesterday when I was off to my first day of school in kindergarten and my mom had to take pictures of me wearing my uniform, with the backpack and a lunchbox... How anxious was I to enter the enormous campus gates and duck at whatever strange and unidentified object that would be thrown at me.

I was young and naive, but there is this fire burning within me that makes me tough and brave to face my teacher, my classmates and be left alone inside the four cornered room filled with unfamiliar people.  A sigh of relief and glad to say 1st day of school was "no sweat!"..yey me!!!

I could imagine the ecstasy that I felt during those golden days where school was a huge theme park for us to meet and play with friends and conflicts were reduced to a minimal by a simple sorry and a kiss on the cheek.

However, life always has its irony...I remember being seven and running around the lush greeneries of the school campus without a care in the world...doesn't matter if my clothes are sweaty and wrinkly or my face looks dirty..i'm havin' fun and the world seemed so simple...and I was in a rush to grow up, become a "doctor" (stereotypically) and build my dream house...

Yet, now that I'm all grown up...Life was far from what I've envisioned back then...everything has been so complex and compounded...It's like the world took a total turn and played reverse just as I was about to aim the target and shoot for it.

"Take life one step at a time" they say...I heard about this expression much too often, but I wished I listened to it as well. There is but a fine line between hearing and listening..but if you put them into action, it makes a whole lot of difference.

Now, I can find myself saying... 

"how i wish i was seven again where wounds can be healed with just a simple 

adhesive bandage." 

Because now that I'm twenty three, things are becoming more complicated and pains need more than bandages to heal and recover.

illuminance...with a hint of pink...

When one looks good, then one feels good...or maybe when one feels good, then one looks good.

Either way, both still radiate a sense of euphoria that brings about a different glow to a person's over all bearing.

As a human being, to wake up in the morning and savor the dawn of a new day may be the most rewarding and gratifying moment one could have.  For it is during this time that one can pick up where he left off and continue to pursue towards his goal.  On the other hand, one can make a full on 360 degree turn and start anew.  

In my case, however, to arise at the break of dawn and feel the gentle wind kissing my cheeks and relish the sweet aroma that is, the morning, might just be the start of a wonderful day yet.

 

My first stop is the shower room, lather on some sweet scent of lavender and champagne makes me feel rejuvenated and energized for the day ahead. There is a certain sense of calmness yet comfort that lavender brings about which soothes the senses and clears the mind of the worries I might have had the day before.  The champagne, however, offers me the energy, strength and determination I need to become a go-getter and reach for my dreams.

And of course, after I've prepped myself up...we come to my most favorite part of the day...

Putting on my make up! :)

Applying these delicately constructed colorful palettes on my face is like an aerobic work out that makes me feel jazzed up for the day ahead.  It is also my most savored part of the day since it lets me focus on myself, and myself alone.  The lavish cream foundation feels like a thousand and one facial massages that makes the skin glow and revived.  The eyeshadows present a kaleidoscope of colors for the peepers that may scream sweet and innocent or whisper fierce and bitchy!  The pinch of blush on the cheeks illuminates the face and contours its shape.  While a simple wisp of lipstick exudes the femininity within us...And with a bit of gloss, the perfect weapon has been created. Sweet and Sensual...

These things provides me with a temporary dissociation from reality and lets me expand my skills on color, combination, structure and impact.  Aside from these intricate abilities, it allows me to experiment, have fun and just vogue like a party animal in front of the mirror!  Heck! that's a hell lot of benefits from just a simple make-up routine!

And after the finishing touch, here I am...happy and ready to face the world! :)

Young Hearts, Run Wild!

"What I would give to be young and in love?"

It might sound cliché, but have you ever caught yourself uttering this line too?

I do...much too often actually!

It's not even the fact that you are in love or that you are being loved...For what is love, seriously?

I know there are a dozen million or maybe billions of overused, predictable quotations running through your mind right now and it is with this notion of love that one might expect too much or expect too little or just become so expectant with the idea.  However, this should not be the case.  For love should be free and individualized, just as each of us is created unique and incomparable.

Maybe, if we set aside our ideals and principles about this little thing called LOVE, then we might be able to find happiness and contentment within...For love is love...plain black and white...it should be given wholly, no spare dimes, no reservations, pretensions, and unattainable expectations...

When you commit yourself to another person, then it's time for you to realize that it's not about you or about your other half, but its about the two of you, battling out against the odds, trying to fit in with the norms and sticking it out for each other.  That no matter how condemning the idea might be, you are willing to stand up for your loved one...simply because, you love him....no further explanations needed.

On the other hand, LOVE might not always be a dainty, sunny walk in the park...Oftentimes, one might feel that she is doing too much and the other is doing too little.  At this point, love becomes expectant, greedy and self-seeking.  Bear in mind, if we love the other person due to the fact that we share the same interests, hobbies and opinions, then we are in love with ourselves and not with the other person.  

Different is good, different is acceptance, different is selfless.

Let's try to renew our outlook in love...

When you love, be like a newborn child, who has no idea or knowledge about what it is, instead just loving selflessly and without expectations.  Let us not compare our better half with those whom we've loved before, for when we do, then we begin to see gaps, cracks and leaks that will disrupt our relationship with the other.  Then love becomes much more of a struggle to undermine what was before and overcome what is happening now. 

 Let us learn to accept the other as they come along, let us give them the chance to love us and for them to be loved, just like the first time.

I might as well say, I'm not really caught up with the idea of love, for I've been through different journeys already that I just had the notion all mixed up and caught in a woven wonderwall of thoughts and definitions.

Yes, it really makes a whole lot of difference when you can call someone in the middle of the night just to share your thoughts...Text someone early in the morning just to wake them up, knowing they like to sleep till noon, bother someone until they get so irritated, ask nonsense questions and let them think really hard about it, be silly, laugh for no reason, drink like there's no tomorrow and party like hell and still feel assured that, that someone is yours and yours alone.

I don't really know what you are thinking of about this at this moment, but yes, caring about each other matters...Not because I need someone to take care of me but because it feels good to be taken cared of and to care for that person in return.

and like i've said...to be young and in LOVE!

the thing i used to love...

I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say that writing has changed me or better yet evolved me...but i could indeed say however that writing has healed me.

Whenever i feel down, lost, or confused I turn to writing in order to vent out my angst, woes and dilemmas.

This indeed has made me feel one less lonely and much more relieved.  A great sigh of relief and a feeling of rejuvenation consumes me and helps me to get back on track and redirect my focus.  For in writing, I found that you need not put on all the tension, drama, physical gestures and facial expressions.  you just need to write it down on plain paper and scribble all your worries away.  Or better yet, in this case however, type all your anxieties and frustrations until the monitor stings your eyes like hell.

However, writing has not only been there to console me during my dark and dreary times.  It has also become a way for me to share my smiles with the greater community as well.  I am convinced that we all have the capacity to make a difference in this world only if we believe we could do so.

At moments of ecstasy and delight, I tend to rediscover that life is indeed the most wonderful thing one can ever have.  Thus, by jotting it down and sharing my thoughts with other people, I know that I am able to awaken their senses and renew their perception about life and about living.

As you can see, writing is not just plain writing...It is an avenue for everyone to connect and renew people's lives.  It is a perfect express ride to take one on a wonderful inspirational journey that would lead them to self-renewal and rediscovery.  Through each letter that composes a single word and every statement made out of it, one can redefine their goals and focus in life.

We are, after all, a part of one big web..and who else to look out after us but each other, as well.

I'm thankful that I've found a motivation to write again..Without pressure, deadline or other motives...

Just to write and to inspire...